Bismillahi...
I am sure NC members all have their views and
have kept quiet out of (appropriate) deference to
our right to make our individual choice. Obviously I
do not need to explain anything to anyone in a
purely personal matter but a few points are worthy
of note:
1. The lady in question is 18 and therefore legally of
age to marry under all laws and certainly under
Muslim law.
2. She is proceeding for her undergraduate
education in the UK in January. She had an A
in computer science in her O levels and plans to get
a degree in computer science.
3. Each and every one of my wives is a university
graduate and some have worked and then stopped
and in each case the choice was purely theirs.
4. It is a tradition in Kano that emirs and princes in
choosing wives consider issues beyond the
individual. The family is in every sense a social
unit. My predecessor was married to princesses
from Ilorin, Katsina and Sokoto.
5. The relationship between the late Lamido of
Adamawa Aliyu Musdafa the father of the current
Lamido is well known. Lamido Aliyu was the first
emir turbaned after emir Sanusi I and they
remained close until Sanusi’s death.
6. My own relationship with the current Lamido
dates back to 1981 when he was Ciroma and
commissioner for works. By the way the Lamido
and I are not illiterates we know what we are doing
and he does have a PhD in Engineering.
7. My own mother was married in Adamawa and
lived there for more than two decades and I have
eight younger brothers and sisters from there.
8. It is therefore natural that if I choose to marry
from another kingdom Adamawa would be the first
choice for me and I am extremely happy to
strengthen these long historical bonds.
The young lady in question gave her free consent
and even after the contract, the wedding will not
happen for a few years. By then she may be 21. If
she freely consents to this I do not know on what
mor*l grounds anyone has a grouse. She is an
adult, she gave her consent, and her education is
not being in anyway interrupted.
The real issue is that people do not accept cultural
difference. And you can see it in the approach to
these issues. I am supposed to be urbane and
western educated. Yes but I am not European. I am
a northern Nigerian Fulani Muslim brought up in a
setting exactly like the one my children are being
brought up in.
If you read this and it improves your understanding
of this issue that is fine. If it does not just
remember it is not your life, it is not your daughter
and you are not my wife therefore it is not your
business.
I obviously cannot stoop to the level of responding
publicly to these kinds of articles. I have always
been an advocate of girls marrying after maturing.
I personally like the minimum age of 18 even
though I understand those who say 16 is fine and
indeed this is the law in most so called advanced
countries.
Is this something that I expect a European or
western trained or feminist mind to appreciate or
endorse? Not at all. But has any American been
bothered about my views on men marrying men or
women marrying women who frankly I find
primitive and bestial? No and my views do not
matter. These are cultural issues.
Even in Nigeria I have heard all this stuff as in Pius
article about “north” and northerners. Again it is a
failure to respect difference. There are parts of this
country where parents expect their daughters to
live with their boyfriends for years and actually get
pregnant before they marry. It has become culture.
We do not have that in the north and if your
daughter gets pregnant before marriage she brings
nothing but shame to the name. But we do not
issue condemnations. We agree that this is how
they choose to live. And I can give many other
examples.
When people use the term libido they do themselves
injustice. First of all it shows how they view women
and marriage. Women are nothing but the object of
$exual desire. Marriage is nothing but $exual
gratification. Well I am sorry but in my tradition it is
not. Beauty and attraction rank third after religion
and lineage in the choice of a wife.
They see an 18 year old young lady. I see a
princess of noble birth whose mother is also a
princess, and who has been brought up in a good
Muslim home. This is the kind of woman that is
prepared for giving birth to princes and bringing
them up for the role expected of them in society.
Marriage is both social and political. Expanding the
links of Kano which have already been established
by my predecessors through inter-marriage with
Katsina, Sokoto, Ilorin, Katagum, Ningi, Bauchi etc
to Adamawa is an important and significant step
and this is obvious to anyone with a sense of how
royal families work and Ibn Khaldun’s sociological
concept of Asabiyyah.
When the Emir of Kano marries it has to be
something beyond what he personally desires to
what is appropriate for that position and the
expectations of the people he represents. You don’t
just pick up any girl on the street.
And by the way, for those who shout libido, $ex is
cheap and available everywhere in all shapes and
sizes and all colours if that is what they want. And
all ages too. Marriage is a very different
proposition. The mother of your children has to be
something other than, not at least much more than
a mere object of $exual fantasy. But if you do not
know that you need to buy yourself a brain.
I have daughters. And they know they can only
marry from certain backgrounds. I always prefer
family. When my daughter wanted to marry
Mouftah Baba Ahmed’s son and she asked me,
knowing my views on family, I told her Mouftah is
family. And this is not about me and Mouftah or me
an Hakeem or Nafiu. No. It goes back to Baba
Ahmed and Emirs Sanusi and Bayero. And the
same rule applies to my sons. And it applied to me
as well.
It is, I am sure, very strange that I should even
bother to comment on this. But it would be
hypocritical for me to just keep quiet so long as
these things are being posted and commented
upon explicitly or in a snide manner. There was no
secrecy in the marriage fatiha. The date was fixed
and it was to be done in the central mosque after
Friday prayers.
The day before we had a tragedy in Saudi Arabia
and decided the fatiha must be very low key as a
mark of respect for the dead. All traditional rulers in
Adamawa were there, as were governors and
commissioners, members of my own emirate
council and Adamawa people. There is nothing here
to hide or be apologetic about.
The emirs of Adamawa have shown love to my
parents and grandparents and it is a sign of my
appreciation of their love that i marry their
daughter. This is the highest statement of
friendship and loyalty on both sides.
Again if you understand this this is fine. If you do
not, buy yourself a brain, A la Pius.
In any event this is my one and final and only
comment on this. And I am making it out of respect
for NC members.
Alhamdulillah...
Source: Lailablog
